| long time |
[13 May 2009|04:01pm] |
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copy paste not working, so much for the quiz
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| what's a title worth anyway? |
[04 Apr 2005|01:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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up for far too long |
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music |
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random beats |
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what's up with the world, topsy turvy if you ask me. there's so much love to go around, i mean seriously, sharing is caring, but definitely watch your back. if you're not covering yourself then who the hell is? friends are weird, who are we supposed to lie to? no one, everyone. he's not here, but he's around. Late the Great, it's all about what? slacker my ass, running around... appeasing everyone, getting everything done... so what's the point? easy, my standard. i hold myself to it, and expect the same from you, and you, and you, etc... but i'll consider what you're ready to give. doors slam, phones ring. deception uncovered... i did suspect, oops... shouldn't the door be closed? at least you were clothed. secrets, would you laugh if i told you my latest? shit... it's kinda hard for me not to.
this journal scares me, but you'd have to read in between the lines... 3 reasons for everything, the threat is more then the dog. well my dogs are mean. djs need their hands like runners need their toes, hell just reverse it and maybe they'll understand. "no favors, no fries" don't make me say it twice... oh well, i've been fucking up. 6 days a week i slave, yet sometimes i only get about 2 bills a week. shoot me please, or buy me a car... :)
non-stop ringing, she's obviously asleep. more like me then she knows, but intel she lacks. maybe we'll talk and straighten things out. i should be home, setting up the tables, dusting off the records. molecule, one bad ass gangster bitch... every hold an AK? me neither, well not for long. what are we looking for? a party, a gathering, a gala event. ask and ye shall receive.
anyone have a demo? i'd love to pass it along. fuck paying retail, where's the barter system. let's make things as they should be. well along with anything you may be doing, don't stop running, don't slow down, don't crawl. so much to say yet nothing expressed. i can't just sit here, but my hand is forced. multi-faceted, means i'm all fucked up... or so i'm told
thanks for plugging along, i've been working on myself a lot. i wander, well more like i'm meandering. staying on course though, as much as i can. my consciouses are never too far behind, unless they get tripped up. i don't like seeing others fuck up, i hate when i do. especially when it's something i didn't even imagine to consider.
but enough, soon i'll have a bunch of my pictures up, that'll be lots of fun. my good shots seem to be when i get people involved in activities or even just listening. you'll see, i hope you like them.
slowly but surely my hair is growing back, i've done so many horrible things to it that i'm definitely surprised it's coming in nicely. now my facial hair... sparse and blond, but at least i'm not constantly getting ID'd.
oh boy i love my job *insert a tremendous amount of sarcasm here* i need to only be working 4 days a week, i'd love to swing a couple of 14 hour shifts. as always, for those of you who remember me, i still hardly sleep. i've been eating better for what it's worth, well forcing myself to anyway. stephanie makes me stretch a lot more then i used to.
seriously though, why can't we take control of our own psychology. as much as i try to do things or not to do them i constantly am hitting opposites. but i am under the belief that we can control every part of ourselves, the discipline required is just GI(ant)-(e)normous.
well that was quite something but i'm not gonna burn myself out, monday is my day off, call me mother fuckers... :)
716-903-6685 and i do have a minute plan, so don't feel bad if i wanna call you back after 9 est.
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[03 May 2004|06:40am] |
update, i'm too incoherent for many specifics
i was dating this great girl right
but she's about as mental as i am :)
getting things right
i'm single, we're friend i guess
probably in about a month
free of grease and steak blood
i don't like working in food
i'd like to work a few part time jobs
i'm partially free
i've felt like i've had charges
maybe you know
but too much is too much
hehe "too much, too much"
just as it comes
moves like water
like rolling down a hill
you get scared and you're hurt
moving on, me and them
it's all about university
my classroom's broad
i love the professors
my cats love me
we share our energies
like nature's creatures should
sweet dreams :)
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[26 Mar 2004|06:49pm] |
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music |
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robin hunter - first week haha, i love vcrs still |
] |
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[14 Mar 2004|10:23pm] |
You are ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? Though you may
not have peed your pants, you sure as hell feel
like you are going to sometimes. Are you a
pussy? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| From Dave |
[14 Mar 2004|10:19pm] |
"Okay. I really like this quiz type thing, and I never do this. so here it is. It wants me to turn winamp on random and record the first ten songs it plays. "
Here's mine... no Placebo though
1.) Sublime & Bad Religion - We're Only Gonna Die
2.) Dave Mathews Band (Buffalo) - Rhyme & Reason
3.) Fionna Apple - Shadowboxer
4.) Bad Religion - Walk Away
5.) System of a Down - Metro
6.) Santana Feat. Rob Thomas - Smooth
7.) Björk - I Remember You
8.) Bif Naked - We are the Lucky Ones
9.) The Cure - Snow in Summer
10.) Rusted Root - Hooked on a Feeling
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[14 Mar 2004|03:27am] |
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"My future self is probably going to be just as incompetant as my current self." dave
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| i owe this to my first week of classes, maybe owe is the wrong term... |
[16 Jan 2004|03:47pm] |
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music |
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peter tosh and bob marley - soul shakedown party |
] |
cross country, cross town
we belong, yet we're foreign
beliefs and values
contrasts and discrepancies
more on that later.
Smoke? there?!
out of the past
the present looks bleak
sensational, breathtaking, wrong
have fun!
maybe under water?
Where's the fire?
apparently appearances approach assertations
words on the soul
drugs on the body
both are compulsive
love the landscape
you go to Bison!
it was sixty2 weeks ago...
on the dead end road by my house.
exploding with people
on the dot
i never pay attention
they would just yak-yak
you can, it's policy
I got it, I read it
seriously, you coulda looked up
it looks kinda like...
it seems like a bird
"oooh official calendar"
No aerobics tonight.
"We'll deal with you in a second!"
let go of trying to find meaning
meaning isn't transparent
from soup to nuts,
Mr Magoo.
what's your audience?
DOWN IN FRONT! what, is this a movie?
He's a rockstar!
Train Wreck
all it takes is one hit
then you're all done son!
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| expect me to ramble.. |
[08 Dec 2003|06:28pm] |
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...because i don't know where to begin. so i moved out again, technically. i reside and both addresses. i'm going to go back to school in january, as soon as i get all my school shit straightened out. i'm letting my hair grow out again, it looks like shit right now, but hey it always looked like shit anyway, right? i miss a lot of you people reading this, why are you reading this anyway? huh?! I've not updated in oh so long, i kinda shrunk down into my own little world of working, sleeping, and dealing with people's problems. but the problems, they never go away, because it's the people who bring them on themselves in most cases. that's not fair, you do what you're programmed to do. if you're used to making friends easily, you'll always make friends easily. if you're used to getting fucked over, hey guess what... exactly. it's all about your character, and i've been doing a lot of thinking about mine. one thing hasn't changed. i bow down to honesty. giving and receiving, but i'm human, and i contain all the same faults as everyone else. i try not to lie, but when i do i don't get mad at myself for lying, but try to figure out why i lied. you lie because you're ashamed, right? you did something that you should not have, and you KNOW you shouldn't have, so you saved some face. i am as honest as i can be, and that's all i can hope for i guess. do we ever get to leave drama behind? i mean seriously, why do other people have a say in... anything? they don't unless you let them, it's all a system of controls. someone wants you living in their world, where they have power over you. but the secret is, you control yourself! if someone wants to think something about me, let them, but if they wanna actually know me, then i'm right here.
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| options get nothing done, but nothing can be done without them |
[20 Oct 2003|02:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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fans |
] |
what happened to conversation? dead like the winter, alive like a flurry? who's to say. stagnant, definitely not moving. so much to say, such a desire to say... something. but, nothing comes. nothing flows. all fragmented. bits and pieces come clear at times, somethings lost. feels like you gotta keep searching, you'll know when you find it.
if not for survival, then what? shivers down my spine. i'm still addicted, but you've got to be conscious. the pride is strong with this one.
enough, i'm getting nowhere with things that don't want to come to completion. i've come to terms with the fact that i will never be able to accept compliments, but i love receiving criticism... but no one seems to have the balls to give any. although really... no one's got any information. i've become so guarded, everyone's got their own agenda. it's never about the good of the whole, i purposely don't say of the group, because seriously... what group? but hey, who's fault is that? i've let down way too many people, i've let down myself. i don't wanna take anymore shit and i sure as hell don't want to give anyone anymore shit, every action, every word, every thought. something happens... but why?
i'm looking for an epiphany. i'm looking for something to care about, something i'd die for, or more importantly live for.
i don't know how to approach the things i care about or get away from the things i despise.
i'm afraid that i don't care enough to despise anything.
i miss being in love, i could have fallen in love, i know who i do love that i could be in love with, there's a difference you know, but some things get fucked up... or some people just aren't ready.
i'm just looking for happiness, no i'm looking for stability in my life, happiness might come later, we'll see. i've been sitting here kinda writing this for hours, no one's going to understand it or even read this far down. i miss the people i cared about, but they've seemed, you've seemed, to all grow up on me. it's about near my time to mature some more, it's what's being introspective and outgoing is all about. right? heh hell if i know. bed time for me, i wanna take care of some loose ends tomorrow, so i have to hopefully wake up.
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| something positive |
[08 Oct 2003|02:14am] |
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smile for me, even if it's a lie... i'm trying to decide where to go from here. i thought i had taken a step forward, but it turned into a long walk back, now i'm at home, a step back so that i can leap forward. no, not equality or sanity. just stress and tons of it. i can't take you seriously; you, me, them, us. whatever right? no not whatever. stupid catch phrases. my vision's not quite as blurry, i've started seeing things i wish i could have kept on misconstruing. so much for de-tox, if only you knew. bad habits don't go away, they evolve or de-evolve and pretend to disappear, they just change forms. excess takes on many forms. i've been lost for far too long, not that i've really found myself, but somewhere maybe. gotta keep adding positives, removing negatives. but what if you can't tell them apart, or could convince yourself otherwise? no one questions me, but questions are good. where is my conscious? the mirror has never worked, it's really unused. no sanity. no interest. just an empty can of mandarins? a 3 hour long power-nap before i do it all again. no dreams, nothing to give up on. just pushing things forward, carefully. not used to it, what, it. green eyes flashing red? hazel maybe, but why not blue... too much to be done, no motivation. keep on, ya dig? ya gotta, it doesn't stop here, i don't stop here, cause i gotta move on, hrm... what a long road... bring it on.
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| ... |
[24 Aug 2003|02:08am] |
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I've gotta get it together.
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| 3 generated poems |
[09 Aug 2003|05:00am] |
| [ |
music |
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System of a Down - Aerials (6:11) |
] |
body td { : verdana, ; : 10pt; } tt,
pre { :
monospace; } a { : rut.
than i
believe me!gonna get better...
if actually do
it started
and too well
like a none; } a:shower. hope productive today.
that i find YOUR Inner Sexy woman
in the ring.
body td { : verdana, ; : 10pt; } tt,
pre { : monospace; } a { : rabbit... that got
something done today
post comment i should have
propelled me i
go? [to be ruinous.‘The
boy with
poetryanchoring
due to you to you
by languageThe language is dreaming about
things to try. it but besides that
uselessbut then way too bad. only
23 and all but if not governed Logical
or blocking out.
body td { : verdana, ; : 10pt; } tt,
pre { : monospace; } a { :
rut. i guess some self analysis is writing about
the obvious, not and neither
for 5 years
now, post
comment navigation [ viewing | most irrational number and girls,
this Is
dreaming about the obvious,
not too much more
mobile.Shift of possibilities “best
brought to try
words are You? by Quizilla post comment i
want a none; } a:moment,
then again, Happy joy
joyHappy happy, happy
joy joyHappy happy, joy
joy joyHappy
happy, joy joyHappy happy, joy joyHappy
happy, joy joyHappy happy, joy
joyHappy happy, happy, joy
joyHappy happy happy, happy, happy joy joyHappy happy, joy
joyHappy happy, happy joy
leaves, if actually do
You have to that
got plenty of
my drive, i
lose my meeting next few weeks, see
if
This for a whale,
NO expectation No expectation No not gonna get
destroyed. duh me, done a
good enough. right! teach you can be
ruinous.‘
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| eh, thanks nadia |
[05 Aug 2003|01:15pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Soul Coughing - Super Bon Bon (3:32) |
] |
| The haxor handle of killa axle is "Dark Le@th3r". |
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killaaxle's journal
